When you are slightly bubbly and I don't mean personality wise finding a prom dat is anything BUT a walk in the park. Especially when the only guy friends you have are either popular, players or the kind of guy that every other girl in school has as their "safe" back-up date. However I remain optimistic in my search for the perfect prom date and in correlation with this my first ever slow dance partner, no matter how desperate the search is becoming.
But I think the real reason that I am so dreadfully afraid of not finding a prom date is the fact that in my, slightly over-analytical, mind (which I might point out comes in handy some of time) makes me believe that it's just because I don't deserve a person to go with, I don't deserve to have my dream moment, because let's face it what girl doesn't dream of the movie prom night...c'mon does "Cinderella Story" ring a bell to anyone or even the scene in "Princess Diaries"( just because it's a ball it still counts as a prom, it's the principle of the matter, PEOPLE!!!). I honestly believe this is part of my fat girl mentality from years of constantly beating myself up, tearing myself down, and having other people due the same. Even with 60 pounds gone and NEVER coming back if I have anything to do with it (which I totally do by the way) I fear I will always carry around this mentality with me....no matter how many calories I cut or extra minutes I do on the treadmill. In my head I will always be the girl who hid behind my book worm nature or my sarcastic-ness.
This if you are wondering was brought on while sitting here in my corner (let's face it, this is where the blog's home is) getting ready to head of to the Hotel in which my Junior prom will take place to plan out the whole thing, after spending the whole last week and a half figuring buses, pictures and post-prom party house....that's a different concern for a different day, but no fear I will end up freaking out about that too, (Can you say Co-Ed sleepover jitters!!!). All this put together with a REALLY AWESOME week last week and a not so good week this week...however this week isn't over yet, I'm trying to remain positive really I am. Makes for a very nervous, and stressed girl who is having trouble with the whole lose 20 pounds before April 1st goal...or in other words a VERY SAD Kelsey.
On to a much more funny aspect of Operation: SSTSD(please look at title for meaning) is the fact I'm trying to remember that I have lost weight, that I am pretty and that I can talk and socialize more with people because I am worthy of it and have worked hard to get where I am. Not going to lie it is not the easiest thing to do most of the time. So onto the funny part, British slang is taking over my classes or more specifically the people I hang out with (call us geeks but it is very fun) we now add words such as knackered, bugger, bloody (I believe that's okay to put online???) and a variety of let's say more colorful words to our daily conversation. Really you should try it, you may sound completely "nutters" but I guarantee you will have a jolly good time.
Sadly, I must cut this entry short as I need to prepare myself for what should be an very....interesting afternoon.
Cheerio from your sassy and sweet mate,
Kelsey
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